Friday, June 13, 2014

"We're pregnant"

So Mila Kunis has decided men shouldn't say "we're pregnant" when their wives or girlfriends are expecting a baby.  What would sound better?  "She's pregnant," like she did it all by herself?  My girlfriend told me she'd slug me if I said something like that.

But, whatever.

This points to a larger problem I've noticed in modern America.  Figurative language is dying.  That's bad news for writers.  What Mila Kunis is either too dense, too stupid, or simply too young and ignorant to understand, is that a man saying "we're pregnant" when his wife/girlfriend is pregnant is simply a figurative phrase with no ill intentions.  Now, cultural critics and other bored, upper-class (generally) white folks will say that buried somewhere in there is some nefarious double-meaning, or some such shit.  After five years of graduate school, I'm convinced all that shit is exactly that: shit.  Bullshit, to be more precise.  In the case of "we're pregnant," it's a matter of the man showing solidarity with his wife/girlfriend.  How the fuck anybody could consider that a problem is beyond imagination.

Then again, look around this country.  Crazy and stupid have gotten together and created the most dangerously uninformed generation ever.

I weep for the future.

Now, back to my writing, for which I make no apologies should I use a phrase, metaphor, or simile, that dummies like Mila Kunis don't have the brains to comprehend.


  1. I've always said that the movie "Idiocracy" isn't comedy. It's prophecy. The evidence is everywhere around us. I weep for the future as well.

  2. I had forgotten how much I appreciate your view on life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, which, nearly as I can tell, will soon be lost in the inanity running amok in this generation.

  3. Indeed, Weldon, not only Idiocracy, but 1984, Harrison Bergeron, etc. Idiocy makes dystopia possible.

    Thanks, Becky. Teachers are the future's only hope!